Hmmm...it seems like these thoughts keep emerging in me.
I seem to get inspired very easily, but it is also true that the inspiration only lasts a short while. So here I am not quite sure of what I should be pursuing or not. Well...that's not entirely true. I know that what I'm doing is good...but I want to do better, and more! So how do I decide what ONE thing to add. Okay...I wasn't meaning to sound sneaky about this...I have just realized that I really miss dance and singing, and I miss acting regularly...
...So how do I do it all? My first instinct???? To sit down and write up an insane schedule with everything I want to be doing included...Getting up early to go work out, putting money aside to take vocal training and more dance training. But I have done this before (the scheduling I mean). I KNOW that overwhelming myself only pushes me farther from where I want to be.
EXAMPLE: I had made up budget after budget, but could never really seem to keep on track with my money. Finally, I just did one simple thing: I left my wallet at home! Simple and Specific (hahaha....all my acting buddies will see how funny that last sentence was)...it's just like Meisner...you need to be simple and specific, or else you won't be able to accomplish the goal. BABY STEPS...thanks Dr. Marvin...and Bob.
But I'm still left here wondering if I should even bother pursuing all of these things...the sad thing is that acting, singing, and dancing isn't the end of the list...I want to get back into piano, start speaking Spanish again, learn the guitar, paint...SEE???? It's overwhelming.
MEDIOCRE still comes to mind. I think that that is my ultimate fear. Only ever being mediocre.
Huh...I'm stressed out, but what am I doing about it? Sitting in this lousy computer chair staring into a bright monitor! I feel sort of paralyzed...I've had a bad couple of weeks...but not so obviously. I have been procrastinating a lot. I have felt unmotivated to go to Jazz class. I have been eating almost completely carbs, and lots of them (sugar included). The worst part? I've been spending most of my free time in front of this damn thing or the TV. This is the most productive I've been in a couple weeks.
Well, maybe I'm being too hard on myself. I don't know.
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