So I was standing at the bus stop, amidst the never-ending snowfall thinking, "I hate that even though I LOVE my job, it's still hard to get motivated to get up and show up. I really want my own business. Why not? People do it all the time!" Really though, I always seem to come to the conclusion that it is unattainable. That I don't have what it takes. I would LOVE to be able to have something that I can call MINE. Something that I can live off of, be happy with (most of the time), and use all of my creative gifts. I think what scares me the most is the big picture. Maybe that's my problem. I always seem to look to the future, the end product instead of focusing on the present…what can I do right now? What is it that I want? What is one thing I can do to maybe get a step closer? Ultimately it is the fear of failure that always holds me back. I have been told many times in the past couple of years that administration is one of my gifts. "HAHAHAHA"! I said…WHAT?! No way! Me? Today someone shared with me why she thought that. I couldn't argue with her! So where do I begin? Right where I am. Start small. It could take a very long time. Maybe it won't. All I know is that I've wanted something like this, something of my own for a very long time. Some of you may be thinking, "Well, you had the guts to start your own theatre company!" Yes, well that Theatre Company has also been something I have been avoiding…avoiding no more. I am also realizing though, that I would rather have SILHOETTE plus a business, and not rely on my theatre company as an income. That way I can do whatever I want with it. Put up whatever shows I want, whenever I want. I'm just figuring this out as I sit here typing. This is me, completely raw. Someone told me "In risk you are protected". An interesting statement no? Risk keeps coming up. I can't get away from it. RISK RISK RISK RISK RISK RISK RISK RISK RISK RISK…something to think about!
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