Why is it that when someone close to you passes on, there is not one comforting word you can hear? I wish that magically I could say that one thing that everyone needs to hear but no one ever does because we don't actually know what it is.
I am so thankful that in death, there is always a shimmer of life. Not only are there the memories of the life lived and lost, but the innocence of the children in your life that proves to you that the circle of life must go on.
Mourning is such a difficult time, but completely necessary to allow you to keep on living your life. When mourning, some crazy thoughts go through your head. Did I love them enough? Did I too often take them for granted? Why do I still hate those things they did?
It is important during this time to allow yourself these thoughts. Bottom line is you loved this person. You don't need to glorify him or her just because you feel terrible that you have had any negative thoughts towards them in the past. In families, and close friends I find that people mistake hate or dislike for a person's actions to be hate of the person himself. This is why people live with guilt and shame around these thoughts. REMEMBER THIS: You loved this person, but you didn't always agree with their choices, words or actions. You aren't to closed off to see the good in this person, you know they have done noble things in their life, there is no question. Put the guilt and shame to bed, and just let yourself feel what you feel. Be honest. If there was ever a time to say what you wanted to say to them, this is it. Write it down, say it out loud, but get it out.
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