I obviously needed to learn a lesson...

So after my last entry, I decided to just get over myself and hang out with Tim again. So, Sunday I met him at his work, and we went walking around Chicago. We then sat by the lake for an hour or so and talked. We come from 2 completely different worlds. I'm not going to get into all of that, so we'll just leave it at that. I came into the day with no judgment, and no expectations, and let myself fall deep into the moment. And yes he was always telling me how "fine" I was or "don't you ever go on no diet...i like my women thick". He also called me his "boo" to his friend on the phone. I was completely caught up in this movie-like fantasy. Completely having fun, and enjoying being kissed for the first time in a very LONG time! He even said "man that why you so soft? Nobody been rubbin' you, nobody been kissin' you!" Ok...that's enough information. Anyway, we had to head back to pick up my roommate and when I pulled over to let him out he kissed me, and I could see Marissa squirming in her seat. He got out and she freaked out (in a good way...she's never seen me kiss anyone)! I told her the story and told her I was just having fun...which I was. But I still wasn't really thinking at all about it. Yesterday I had the day off, so I met up with him again, and we went to the zoo...after a series of events that were starting to pull me back into reality. I sort of refused to be brought back all the way, so we hung out the rest of the day, and things went a little farther than I had really wanted them to. I mean I was able to say no when I really needed to, and he was respectful of that, but because it has been so long, it was so difficult to say no. I told him I had work to get done and that he needed to leave after the movie (he also had to get up at 4am today for work, and I didn't want him being late on my account). I don't think he has any idea that I'm not super into him. Seriously as awful as this sounds I just got lost in the moment of being wanted and being touched. He isn't someone I can see myself actually dating. Now I am stuck in the position of having to tell him this. I have never been put in this situation before. The few guys I've dated have all broken up with me. Now, I've said no to dates, but I haven't had to tell someone that it's just not working. Yikes...I was on cloud nine on Sunday night, but after yesterday I realized why I am usually picky. And first impressions ARE usually your gut telling you something. Instincts are a powerful thing. And though I really just wanted to be wanted and it felt so good to know that someone wanted me, I don't actually want him, and that's not fair to either of us. Funny how things work out. I was not myself at all the last couple of days and I didn't like it at all. Here's hoping this was a very important lesson in my dating education...