Infatuation VS Love

"Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never even dared to admit that you wanted--an emotional speedball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Soon you start craving that intense attention, with the hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is withheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but who now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore--despite the fact that you know he has it hidden somewhere, goddamn it, because he used to give it to you for free)."

--Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

I have read this several times, but it was only the most recent trip through this wonderful book that I was hit hard by this last excerpt.

ADDICTION: You are very rarely addicted to something healthy right? Most healthy in choices are something you really want and work hard at to keep in your life. Addictions are the exact opposite, because you CRAVE them, you can't live without them... I think that it is safe to say that everyone at one point in their life has become addicted to something. Maybe not severely, but enough that you could understand this last statement. I never put the two words addiction and infatuation together before. But it makes so much sense.

LOVE: Over the years I have learned that real true love is not something that is easy. You don't usually just stumble blindly into it. You have to work hard at love. You have to make the CHOICE to love someone unconditionally. It isn't going to be that "sweep you off your feet" love every minute of the day. When you are in love with someone, and you want to spend the rest of your life with them, I am a firm believer that you have to be able to stand on your own two feet. You can't depend on them or NEED them. You can WANT them, and CHOOSE to love them, but crossing that line of dependence throws you into a dangerous road to addiction.

I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me?
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all of the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace

Lately I've been thinking maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for, 'cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow, I'll say the same thing

I am ready for love
would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance I'll prove this to you
I will be patient, kind, faithful and true
to a man who loves music, a man who loves art
respects the spirit world, and thinks with his heart

I am ready for love
if you'll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
and do the best that I can

I am ready for love
Here with an offering of
My voice, my eyes, my soul, my mind
Tell me what is enough to prove I am ready for love
I am ready

--Ready For Love, India Arie